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Las Vegas Girl and Sasha

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Hi there folks! How was your day?
Mine was pretty bad :roll: And not just because I've got a lot of work to do, but because of what happened after! Now my situation is getting more desperate and frustrating for me, because I told my friend that I would help him! He asked me for help and I'm helping him because he's my friend and I want to help him....but sadly, I also have to deal with my love towards him, so THAT IS what is so frustrating and exasperating!! :cries: The fact I "should forget him" because he doesn't love me but I can't force myself to not feel the love, because if I do that I'll go back to the complex with the boys that I had since almost all my life!! :tears: And to go back to that painful complex would be something SO extremely frustrating frustrating!! Specially because I've been struggling so hard to get rid of it since 2008!! Why??!!!! Why this is happening??!!! :cries:...Well, I cannot avoid the love...but I thought I could make my mind get "distracted" to not think about my love for him and all the pain it implies. So I worked a lot, and later when the work time was over, I was on my house and one of my brothers blamed me for something I didn't do, and my father got angry with me! ): And later I felt bothered again because (for a strange reason my brother knew that I was in love with someone,I think because he know this account) since december my brother and father are making fun of my love for the guy, and they don't lose the chance to make mockery and calling me silly because they think it's silly the fact I'm in love with someone who doesn't love me.
So I had an horrible day! But well, I tried to do many things to "distract my mind" like cleaning my room, and organizing my bedroom stuff, iron, and later I took a few hours to see some video clip on the web and try to do a digital painting (because It's been a pretty good time since I don't draw by hand...specially since I met this guy who I'm talking about) to see if I feel better doing that, but that was THE MOST frustrating thing at all!!! :cries: Because I tried to watch Ozzy and Drix clips and some foste's home episodes that someone uploaded on youtube, and I got bored even if I always liked Ozzy and Drix and Foster's!! :O_o: And then as seeing videos on youtube was not something funny, I tried to do a digital drawing (or finish to paint some of my incomplete paintings) but every drawing I started to paint it looked ugly, so much that I got exasperated and I erased some of them! :cries: *pulls hair* And that's SO weird because drawing and painting it's what makes me feel better when I'm sad! And IT IS fun! And this time it wasn't! :O :omg: Also I tried to write a song but it ended up being a toooo sad song, so I couldn't finish it, as well as the other songs I've tried to do on December that are so sad too :roll:..But the straw that broke the camel's back was this fact!! The fact I logged a some hours ago to reply my messages and have some fun, and when I tried to reply some of the nice messages my friends wrote to me, I realized I wasn't able to do that because I have no mood/inspiration to say anything, and I have a BLANK MIND STIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!! SO IT MAKES ME FEEL SO FRUSTRATED the fact I CAN'T be enjoy doing anything since I fell in love with this dude??!!! I CAN'T BE HAPPY!! I CAN'T ENJOY ANYTHING!!!....AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!! WHY WHY WHY WHY???!!!!!! WHY I had to fall in love with a guy who never appreciated me?????? :tears: :tears: :cries: *pulls her hair*...Why I accepted to help him if I know it hurts me a lot being with him knowing he doesn't love me? :O....why I have no heart to say no???!!....why due my too sweet heart I am not able to just "forget it all" and to to care about him....WHY I've got a heart that is a huge burden!! :O_o:.....Why?...if I always believed it was a gift....
Also I'm a bit frustrated because other things, too....due a few people who I considered my friends lied to me, they told me they didn't liked porn stuff, and even they came to my gallery and comented "it's great you don't draw porn" and stuff like that as if they were agree with me about my disgust for porn, but I discovered on some of the last year months that they liked porn and they even faved porn stuff here!! :O Some of them even faven one of my drawings and later I saw it in a collection along with so nasty stuff ):...Plus I was organizing my papers in my bedroom and I realized I've lost one my good drawings, one where I drew frankie and Sasha Nein and it was really one of my best, and now I can't fin it ): I think it's because the friends of my brothers wanted to see my drawings and they made a mess with my files :roll:
Hehe I know seeing me writing this sounds strange for some of you, since I usually don't talk about my private life, so I know it's very unusual...but don't get me wrong, I'm not writing this here because I want to "expose my life" or because I want people to have pity on me....it's just because well, I consider dA my Home and you who appreciate me and my art are my family!! You guys are my only family, indeed....since I actually have no one who can care of me or who can be concern if something happens to me....I have no one who can give me gestures of love....The people who I interact with don't give me love....
I'm not sure if this is something imprudent of crazy, to talk about my life with you buddies....but it's just, I FEEL IN HOME when I'm here...I feel appreciated and....loved!...So I think that's why usually posting my art here and talking with you guys about what happened in my life made me feel better...it made me feel a bit strong again....And so it does it now! Writing this here makes me feel like my difficulties are not so bad..when I talk about my trouble and come here to post some nice art and I see you like it, I feel better....and it's a good think if I keep talking with you all and posting my drawings here, because if I don't do so I know I'll felt more torn with pain, more depressed, and maybe I'll go crazy or something in matter of days! And don't want to go crazy! :noes: So it's good news that talking about my day here makes me feel not so bad, also it makes me be notice that I still can't write something coherent, so it means I still have my sanity :)...and well I hope with time I can be again the cheerful and laidback person who...believed that everything was posible....who believe that after every storm it always will glow the sunlight....

Well...Leaving the rambling out *ehem*...At first I wanted to post the drawing I mentioned up there, but gee it seems I lost it! (hope to find it soon) so that's why I decided to post today these two pencil sketches, cos at least one of them is a drawing of one of the characters I had in the drawing I lost =P I liked more the other drawing of course, but this is good too :D
The drawing of the left it's called "Las Vegas Girl" and she's a character of some old detectives story I was making when I was in junior high :lol: She's one of the good characters, she was a detective who also was a show girl, and she was a singer who worked on a Las Vegas cassino. Even if it doesn't have date, I drew her in August 1, 2009 ( yeah I remember, my memory is good :giggle: ) and it was because I felt inspired when I saw the wonderful art of :iconpat-mcmichael: and I was amazed with his pencil portraits! :excited: So, I felt the urge to draw something in pencil and I at first I thought, princess, but I'm not fan of them XD, so I was thinking of who to draw, and suddenly I tought on her, and so here is the drawing! :D Althought it didn't came out like his work =P but I hope someday I can draw by pencil like him, and meanwhile I'd like to dedicated my modest drawing to him because his work inspired me a lot! :aww:

The drawing of the right side it's Sasha Nein from the game Phsychonauts, you all know him! And if you don't know him you should, he's a very cool character with an wonderful voice! :D :D :D In the game, I haven't got the chance to buy it, but I've seen the clips of it on youtube that someone who was playing the game uploaded, and I have to say it's really interesting concept, desing, characters, everything! :excited: Shasha himself it's a very witty and well done character, he's so cool and a genius! And what I love form him most is the how he teach razz to use his powers, he's very patient and it feels like he enjoys teaching, he's got like a vocation to teach! :D :D :D
I drew this on Feb 2010, because I was in my bed and I was not sleepy, so I was thinking about jamie's about Sasha, and I started doodling and I made this sketch. What a cool game!!! oh and here it goes this quote from some other coment I made of the game because I'd like you to see it!

It has a really unique style, and wacky and fun characters!! I also loved the concepts of character's minds like cubes, the psychedelic landscapes and the idea of making all with the mind, mind powers are so cool!! I wish I would have known about it some time ago, when I actually had time to play....I haven't seen the game here either...Probably I can look for it in the town when I travel to go to collegue. Many people say everything is cheaper there and you can find more things, I've found some things there...I have to see more of sasha!!!...well...I have to go, it's getting late, just wanted to show this

Well, I really enjoyed very much to talk about these drawings with you, and post them of course :D And I'd like to dedicate this little drawing of sasha to my dear dear friend :iconjameson9101322: because she always inspire me with her so awesome art!! There are some of her drawings of him, I was thinking of them when I drew this! [link] [link] [link] [link]
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DespicableUs's avatar
That's so cool! 8D I like both their designs. You do such a nice job with posing C: